Our son has become the target of a school bully.
We noticed his behavior change immediately. A child that was usually relaxed and happy had become anxious, sad and irritable. He would spend his free time just sitting and staring at the television, not absorbing what he was seeing. The things that generally made him happy, like playing football with his friends or spending time with the X-box, were no longer interesting him. He laid in the bed for hours, just staring at the wall.
First we assumed he was nervous over the start of another school year, as his demeanor seemed to change on the first day. Then we decided it was likely his age – 13 now, and dealing with the weight of a teenage world. I started to suffer with him, both of us eaten away by something only one of us knew. I spent hours worrying about him, trying to find any and all reasons he could be so sad so suddenly. But seeing as how he’s always been a well-liked child at school, it never occurred to us that he was dealing with bullying on such a level that he couldn’t function normally anymore. After all, we had talked with our children about this before, and they knew to come and talk to us anytime they were dealing with another student in such a way. They had been told they could tell a teacher, as their teachers are there to help them.
How were we to know the teacher would be the bully?
Our son has always been dominated by football. He has a collection of more than 6,000 cards, and multiple NFL jerseys. He watches every game; knows every stat. And he’s played for five years now, first with the little league and then with the middle school. He enjoyed playing last year, and couldn’t wait to get back on the field.
But one of the coaches there to help my son love that sport has instead made him want to quit. He has made fun of our child in such a way, he no longer believes he has any talent or worth. He was asked to play a position he isn’t comfortable with, but instead of being taught, he’s being ridiculed. At one point, the coach tossed a football underhanded to another coach, yelling: “Look, I’m Batson!” And they shared a laugh.
He asked to quit playing football. We asked for one day to fix it. One day, and if it weren’t better by practice this afternoon, football was over until he moved to high school. There is a meeting taking place today in the principal’s office, unbeknownst to our child. This will be addressed.
So much time we’ve spent teaching our kids how to deal with bullies, telling them to talk to a teacher. We never considered the teacher would be the one to do so much damage to our child.
The Mom Spot 